So as of Friday at about 6:30pm I became a college graduate.
I know crazy right? I feel slightly more grown up, but not really….. Haha, yesterday morning I cleaned and moved out of my apartment. Now begins the two weeks of working before I road trip it back to sunny California. Should be a pretty fun 2 weeks. Staying with a friend and I have time to burn! Woohoo. Actually, I’ll probably go through all my stuff and try to figure out what I really need to keep.
I have been trying to pinpoint, more exactly, the feelings I have about this stage of my life. I mean first and foremost I feel relieved to be done with my undergrad career secondly, I’m excited to be moving on to a new adventure back in California. Third, I feel sad. I feel like I’m going to miss the people I’ve gotten to know in Provo. Some of them more than others, some for different reasons, but everyone I met while going to school at BYU has helped to shape my education both in and outside of school.
There are some things I wish I could go back to and do differently, but I think things are playing out the way they are supposed to. But I can’t help feeling a little mournful. I realized today that some of the people I could see any time I wanted will be at least 10 hours away. I won’t get to see them everyday and that makes me sad. Its like the one girl at the party who feels left out so they slink off to some quiet corner and pouts hoping and waiting to see if someone will come talk to them and make them feel special. This little speck of, we’ll call it depression, is sitting inside watching the rest of me be incredibly happy.
I think this might just be the sleep impairment and coming down from the graduation high. Next step, finding an apartment in Santa Barbara. Wish me luck.