Last night, or [very] early this morning…I was feeling rather discouraged. Despite great things happening in my life this is what I wrote:
“Today, I feel…like crap to be honest. I know that people should like me for me. For the most part I feel like people like me. And I like me for the most part too, but today I feel like I’m just another over weight girl who is struggling to reconcile how I feel like I look with what the mirror shows me. I love having some curves. I honestly don’t think I’d like myself if I were super thin. I like having strong, muscular legs..but I want to look like the sassy, fun, confident, gorgeous woman that I feel like on the inside. I want my personality to match how I look on the outside and I don’t want to worry about trying to be able to “pull off” a certain look based on my thunder thighs or my ugly arms. So I’m taking a stand. I’m done with “
trying” to get into shape. I’m simply going to do it. I hate to say it, but my new motto for awhile is going to be, ‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.'”
So there you have it. I was super happy when I got back from Europe and had lost like 10lbs that I had put on as a result of stressin’ before I left. I was all, yeah I’m bad-A, but I have kind of let myself relax too much, I’m not walking like I did in Europe and as a result….yeah…haha It didn’t really help that I ate pretty ridiculously crappy yesterday and the few days before it as well.
As part of my resolution of sorts, it’s not really “mid-year” but we’ll call it my mid-year resolution anyway, I’m going to eat healthier, work out daily, and (here comes the cheese) transform myself into the beautiful butterfly of a woman I am meant to be. Last night I actually got pretty excited about going for a run this morning. It may have been temporary insanity, but I don’t think there is any better motivation than feeling
fat and unhappy even though other things are falling into place wonderfully and wanting to change things. So I mapped out a route on my iPad with a route tracker app. I jogged from my house to Center street and then walked (fast) from Center street down to 3rd, walked up 3rd to 7th, and then ran kinda fast-like from the corner of 3rd and 7th to my house.I got to my house, stretched out, kept dancing and singing to my iPod (music is key for me to stay motivated – no slow songs) got some laundry started and decided I needed to write things down before I got too busy. So, my route this morning was 3.5 miles. I probably only ran about 1.5 of it, but I think that’s a good start for a fatty who loathes running to begin with.
Anyway, some things that are inspirational this morning: